Day 15

I’m a lesbian today.

This is hard. I can’t ignore Mike, I have a date planned with him.

I think. Those plans are a little fuzzy.

I wear a dress today. Apparently my inner lesbian is girly, or it’s ‘cause it’s just so hot today.

I talk to a girl on the bus. She’s in my writing class, so we talk about that. I’m not sure if I’m flirting or just talking, but I think if I call it flirting I’m technically good for today.

But I want to go back to being straight now. For Mike.

When I do see Mike, it’s so hard not to kiss him. I want to be close to him, but the closest I can get is a hug.

The museum we planned to go to is closed, so we go to a nearby market instead. He gets a sandwich, I get a cupcake. It’s not a good cupcake, and I’m sad about that.

When we get back on the bus, I manage to convince someone I’m a lesbian. I’m talking to Mike, who suggests I flirt with a nearby girl, and I tell him, “Just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I’m not me. I’m still too shy to flirt.”

The guy sitting in front of us gives me a strange look, so yay, I convinced him!

I have dinner at Mike’s house, and then he takes me to a nearby ice cream stand. He’s been talking up this place for weeks, and then it’s just plain old soft-serve. I’m disappointed.

We watch House together, then return to the dorm.

What happens next, probably shouldn’t have happened, considering I’m not supposed to be attracted to guys today.

But I love Mike. I can’t say no to him.

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Today didn't really teach me how hard it is to be discriminated against, which I'm guessing was the point.
It did teach me how hard it is to hide your sexuality, which is what a lot of people in the closet are struggling with. I can't imagine how afraid of coming out they have to be to be able to go through that. It sucks.
I remember the museum we were going to visit. We didn't end up going till about a year later, and then it wasn't that great.