Today, I have to find out if I’m a psychopath.
I start my day very badly. I find a bug in the kitchen and it freaks me out.
Then I think one got into my cereal and I ate it (there wasn’t one) and I’m just kind of terrified of my kitchen now.
But work is okay. It goes by pretty quickly, that’s good.
I go to the store after work, and it’s only now that I get to take the test in the book.
I’ll put my results here.
It’s a list of qualities, scoring 0 if I never have them, 1 if sometimes, 4 if all the time.
Glibness/superficial charm: 4. It’s kind of my job to be polite and charming.
Grandiose sense of self-worth: 0.
Tendency for boredom/need for stimulation: 4.
Pathological lying: 0.
Cunning/manipulative behavior: 1. But everyone is manipulative at times, right?
Lack of remorse: 1.
Shallow affect (monotone voice, blank expression): 1. seriously, I work in fast food. If I didn’t sometimes zone out I would be insane.
Lack of empathy: 1.
Parasitic lifestyle: 0.
Poor behavioral control: 0.
Promiscuous sexual behavior: 0.
Behavioral problems early in life: 0. I think.
Lack of realistic long-term plans: 1. I honestly believe I’ll be a successful author. I don’t have any other plans for my life.
Irresponsible behavior: 1.
Failure to accept the consequences of actions: 1. I’d like to say 0, but I’m being honest here.
Many marital relationships: 0.
Juvenile delinquency: 0.
Callousness: 1. I like to call it sarcasm, though.
Criminal versatility: 0.
My total score is 16. Since I’m supposed to turn myself into the police only if my score’s above 40, I think it is safe to say I am not a psychopath.
Late, I know, sorry.