Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Day 40: Today play a practical joke


Day 40
Today I’m supposed to play a practical joke on someone.
I think, okay, I’ll do this after work.
So I go to work, and it’s all pretty normal. We’re not too busy, and what customers we have are all really bitchy today, but it’s not bad.
Then my manager asks me to work an extra 4 hours.
See, I’ve already finished 8 hours. But I think okay, I can manage 12 hours of work. It’s good money, it’s worth it.
Two hours before I go, the radio plays Smile. And I think of Mike and it makes me happy.
When I finally finish, I go out to my car and start crying in pain.
And now I’m soaking my feet because they’re swollen and ow.
My parents are waiting on me, that’s nice. Doesn’t really help my feet pain.
So I can’t really play the practical joke today. It’s not easy to do that when I can’t even stand.


--

Huh.
A year ago, I was asked to stay late and do a 12 hour day.
The same thing happened yesterday.
pretty ironic, I'd say.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Day 39: Learn to speak Swedish

Day 39
Today I’m supposed to learn Swedish.
I read a few phrases from the book, but I can’t really use them while at work.
Instead, while I’m driving to McDonald’s, I listen to ABBA. One of the songs is in Swedish, and since I know the English words, I am learning some Swedish.
Work doesn’t suck, but my feet do hurt again. I will get used to this, right?
I come home and read the rest of the phrases in the book. They all look like the names of furniture from Ikea.
Oh wait. Ikea’s Swedish, isn’t it? Right.
I also happen to watch an old episode of Jimmy Neutron with a Swedish character. (also with a time machine in a phone booth. That makes me laugh.)
I ask my dad to get me some gel insoles for my shoes, so maybe tomorrow my feet won’t hurt so much.


--

am I a dork for liking ABBA?
I was on a serious Mamma Mia kick when the musical came out, it led to me liking the band. it makes sense. kind of.
Except that I'm 20 and loving a band that was considered overblown pop music 40 years ago.

also wtf blogger why did you post this before I was done with it?

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 38: Spend some time in a church today


Day 38
Today I need to spend some time in a church. I would do that, if I had some time.
At work, I make my first major mistake—I charge a customer twice, only make him pay once. McDonald’s is out some money, I’m guessing I’ll have to pay it.
But other than that, things are good. I get verified to work at the counter.
I get home, and I want to collapse, I’m so exhausted and my feet hurt so bad.
I just watch TV for hours. I literally cannot move to do anything else.
I never do make it into a church. I’m too tired to tell if I have bad luck today.


--

This is the day the posts started getting really short.
hey, 8-hour shifts make me tired.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Day 37: Today, eat and run


Day 37
Today, I’m supposed to eat and run.
This is also the day I start my job at McDonald’s. This isn’t going to go well.
But I actually manage. Technically. Since it’s my first day, I get my lunch for free.
I’m working at the register. It’s not bad. It’s pretty easy, customers are friendly and don’t mind that I’m a little slower than the other cashiers.
The register is the only thing I do today—I know that I’ll learn assembling the food for the customer and how to make coffee, but that’s not for my first day.
The only sucky part is that I’m there 8 hours. And I learn I’m scheduled for 8 hours for the next 3 days too.
When I finish, my feet hurt so much.
I’ll get used to it, I know. But for now, ow.
I get home, and I’m greeted by Mike. That’s nice.
We go to see a movie. MacGruber. I thought it would be pretty good ‘cause I like the SNL sketch, but it really wasn’t. There were funny parts, but that didn’t make it a good movie.
I manage to sleep better tonight. That’s good.

--
A year later, and the only other thing I can do is make the coffee.
well, sort of. I can do the entire front end, fill orders, make fries, make ice cream, but I haven't yet been trained on making food.
also, feet still hurt.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 36: Say nothing today

Day 36
Today, I’m supposed to say nothing.
Seriously, the universe sends me my boyfriend, then tells me not to talk to him. No.
I follow the letter of this task by letting the first word out of my mouth today be “nothing”.
Then I follow the spirit by saying as little as possible. But I will talk.
This could be interesting. No idle conversations between me and Mike, we are going to be forced to enjoy silence between us.
That silence will probably—hopefully—be filled with kisses.
The first person I have to talk to is my mom. Saving my words and speaking quietly, I tell her what I’m doing. Then I ask her to explain to Dad because he’s partially deaf and I don’t want to have to waste words by repeating what I’m saying.
I hang out with Mike all day, and I end up talking a lot more as the day goes on. Nothing bad ends up happening, though.
We drive around and go shopping. I decide that I’m going to start collecting those cute little Japanese eraser toys, then I don’t actually buy one because I’m broke.
I try to sleep early tonight because I’m getting up at 6 tomorrow morning for my job.
However, I can’t fall asleep. This sucks.
Eventually I do sleep.


--

It's hard being silent.
I've been quiet before, participating in the day of silence in high school, or a small bout of laryngitis.
but this day, I couldn't.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Day 35: Today give little tasks to people around you


Day 35
Today I have to give little tasks to people around me.
I don’t know who’ll be here. Mike might be coming out here today, but that’s not set yet.
I go with my dad to pick up my mom from the airport, and we have lunch at Sonic. My parents have been telling me this is the greatest restaurant ever, but I don’t think much of it. Also the bathrooms are gross.
When we get home, I finally start today’s task. I pick one of the little tasks from the book and tell my mom to bow to me. She does.
Then, I tell my dad to organize my surprise birthday party. My birthday’s not for 9 months, so he’ll probably forget. That’s okay.
Now, I am waiting eagerly for Mike to show up. I cannot wait to see him.
Mike is here, and I am so happy to be with him.
I drive him around, trying to find something to do. We go to a local antique store that’s kind of cool. Mike buys an old Coca-Cola bottle—and the guy running the store lets him have it for free since it’s his first time at the store.
The guy there is really nice like that. I bought my prom jewelry there and he let me have it half off since it was for a prom.
I take Mike to Kimball Farms, a local and awesome ice cream place. He’s never been there and he apparently didn’t believe me on how awesome it is. But when he sees what all is there and tastes the ice cream, he begins to believe. I think.
Then, we just hang out at home for a while, before sleeping. In separate rooms. We both don’t like this, but hey, my parents are here.


--

You know, I still have that prom jewelry, but I never went to my prom.
I don't really regret it. I wonder what it was like, but I'm fine.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 34: Today write to a dictator to stop torture

Day 34
Today I’m supposed to write a letter to a dictator to plead with them to stop torture.
I’m catching this on a loophole—I just have to write it. It doesn’t say to send it.
So I’m going to write it here now.
Dear Kim-Jong Il:
I picked you to write to ‘cause you’re the only one I’ve heard of before. I don’t keep up with current events at all.
Anyways, Kim-Jong, stop torturing people. Stop being a horrible dictator. It’s just wrong. I think I’m supposed to hate you to be a good American, so I do.
Sincerely,
Me.
Ta-da.
Today, I get a formspring, jumping on that internet bandwagon. Let’s see how that goes.
I also hang out with my awesome friend Ari for a while. We go to the mall, then some other stores nearby. It’s fun hanging out with her ‘cause I haven’t seen her in weeks and she is a good friend.
I later hang out with some of my other awesome friends, including Jessie who I don’t think I’ve seen in months. It’s good to see her again.
We head to a park where we hang out a lot, then head back to Lainie’s house for watching a movie. The Hangover, a very good movie.
But later, I get a text from Liz, another friend. There’s so much high school drama with my group of friends—they all used to be friends with each other but now they’re not. I know why they’re not, but because I really want to keep out of this I’m not going to say.
Anyways, I’m trying to remain friends with everyone, but it’s sometimes frustrating and difficult. I love my friends, but I don’t want to be involved in their fights.


--

I don't even remember the friend drama now. I barely talk to most of them actually. I haven't seen them in so long.
I know a little more about current events now. I pay attention more.
Do I know anything about Kim-Jong Il? No. Oh well.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 33: Be on the lookout for the paranormal


Day 33
I don’t even remember my dreams from last night, so I have no idea if I controlled them.
Today, I’m supposed to be on the lookout for the paranormal.
This should be easy—last night I watched three of the Nightmare on Elm Street series, so I’m already a bit jumpy.
Now I’m watching the 4th movie, but really that one’s not scary.
I do find it interesting that the birds outside start loudly chirping whenever Freddy’s onscreen.
I go to take a shower, and notice a warm spot on the floor of my bedroom. Not too unusual, my dog lays there a lot.
I get a creepy feeling in the shower that bugs are going to suddenly appear. Considering bugs did suddenly appear in the showers in the dorms, that’s not so out of the ordinary.
Now, I have goosebumps. It’s 70 degrees here and I’ve got goosebumps. Creepy.
I see a giant ant on the floor and it freaks me out. So I squish it.
I go to McDonald’s to get my uniform and sign a bunch of forms. There really are a lot of forms to sign.
I skimmed most of them so I’m not sure if it said anything about talking about the restaurant on the internet. Just to be safe, I will never say which McDonald’s this is, I will never name anyone, and in fact I don’t think I’ll be saying too much about it at all.
I start working Tuesday. I’m excited.
I am now very aware of some tapping noise outside. I shut all the windows so I’ll stop hearing it.
Okay, around 9 PM I realize a day of watching horror movies is a bad idea. I’m terrified.
So I stop with the horror and watch The Clique. There’s nothing scary about this movie, and I have to admit I’m addicted to the books.


--

I love horror movies. I get really freaked out by them though.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 32: Control your dreams


Day 32
Today, all I have to do is control my dreams tonight.
This means as long as I plan to do that, my day won’t be affected by the book. This is nice.
My day starts out pretty boring, really. And actually, right now it’s still boring. I have nothing to say, sorry.
One interesting thing: I call McDonald’s and finally get the manager, and set up going in to get my uniform and hours. She again confirms that I do have the job. This makes me so happy.
Yeah so it is McDonald’s. That doesn’t necessarily make it a bad job, even though all my friends say fast food is hell. It’s a job, that’s all I care about right now.
My mom leaves this afternoon. She’s going to my cousin’s graduation.
Yeah, today stayed pretty boring. Hopefully tonight and my crazy dreams will be better.


--

I am so tired today. Can't really think good thoughts.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Day 31: Nauru Awareness Day


Day 31
Today is Nauru Awareness Day!
I’m supposed to send a letter to the president of Nauru, but a quick calculation on the USPS website tells me that for a simple letter, that’d be over $25.
I’m sorry, Book, but I don’t have that kind of money. Yes I just got a job, but I haven’t started yet.
But I will be wildly aware of Nauru today. I’ll read every word of the Wikipedia entry on it and simply be very aware of all those facts.
Apparently Nauru used to be called Pleasant Island. Now I can’t help but imagine it as that place in Pinocchio where all the boys get turned into donkeys.
There’s one airport on the island, and when it’s closed the only access to the island is by ship.
Nauru has no army, but they rely on Australia for defense. They do have a police force, though.
Nauru has no tourism and a very poor economy. People should go there, it sounds interesting. I’ll copy/paste this from Wikipedia: “the oceanic climate is relatively pleasant and there are several sites of historical interest, particularly from the days of the Japanese occupation in World War 2. The sea near the island teems with pelagic gamefish and tuna and would be of interest to anyone who wants to fish where few outsiders have fished before.”
Literacy is high, so is obesity.
I have learned about Nauru and I will be aware of all this throughout the day.
I call McDonald’s, because even though the manager gave me a job, I haven’t heard anything from her and she’d said she’d call.
No luck with that, though. She’s not there.
I continue my day normally. I go back to cupcake making, and that’s fun. The cupcakes turn out all pretty.
My parents take me out to dinner. By dinner, I mean we eat at a movie theater that also happens to serve food.
I’ll be honest, I’m completely forgetting Nauru at this time.
Maybe that’s why we almost die on the way there. It’s raining and my dad’s driving a little fast, so we skid on a sharp curve and nearly hit the guardrail. We don’t, but it’s still completely terrifying.
The movie we see is Date Night. Not the best movie, but it’s not bad. I laugh a lot.

--
So, it was not a mistake that I didn't do a new post yesterday. Read the book and you'll get it.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 29


Day 29
Today I’m supposed to call a random number and read them a script in a deep Southern accent. The script is this long thing praising Jesus.
I kind of cheat. I call a number that starts with 555 so I know I’ll get no one. But I dial it and I read the script to the nice Verizon lady’s recording.
I get another interview scheduled for tomorrow! Radio Shack this time.
The day just gets even better, though. When I go to my McDonald’s interview, the manager tells me I’m hired. I have a job!
Okay, maybe McDonald’s isn’t the ideal job, but hey, it’s a real job. It’s money. I’m so happy.
Nothing else really happens today. After getting a job, the rest of the day is just boring.

--


McDonald's is not the best place to work, but it's work.
I just got that job back actually, so that's good.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Day 28: Choose your final meal on death row and make it.


Day 28
Today, I’m supposed to make and eat the meal I would have on death row.
Two problems with this: one, I’m at Mike’s house. Two, I don’t know what I would eat!
I have to get up early to go to church with Mike’s family. This will be interesting, as I’m not at all religious.
It’s extremely awkward. In some ways, it is interesting, but I feel like an outsider. I’m not opposed to the idea of Christianity, but there are some things that are said that I absolutely cannot agree with.
After church, we change into our costumes for the Renaissance Faire. Though I still think people are going to laugh at Mike’s Doctor Who costume, I have to admit he looks so hot in it.
We go to the faire, snacking on M&Ms that I brought while we drive. M&Ms I know are part of my death row meal. They’re one of the two things that I know I will have. (The other is ice cream from Kimball Farms. Also probably a Jamba Juice, but they don’t have those out here.)
The faire is great. It’s big and there’s so many people dressed in elegant costumes—just like me! I feel like I fit in here.
What surprises me is Mike fits in too. People keep remarking “hey, there’s the Doctor!” And what’s really surprising is that there’s another Doctor there! (number 4, I think. The one with the scarf.)
Mike and I catch two shows, a comedy show and a swordfighting one. They’re both awesome. Mike was a little wary of the first show, but then he loved it.
I get a tarot reading. The guy doing the reading is nice. He says my life’s good right now, but I’ve got trouble in my career. He tells me I can be a great author if I just don’t give up.
As Mike and I continue wandering, he’s suddenly waved over by a girl wearing a T-shirt that says “You never forget your first doctor”. She’s all excited and she hugs him.
Mike is apparently loving this. They talk about the Doctor and show off their sonic screwdrivers and take some pictures together.
You’d think I’d be jealous over this, but I’m not. I can tell he’s having fun.
As we’re leaving, the only thing he can talk about is how awesome it is to have a fangirl. So I guess he really loved that.
We drive back to his house, I get a quick dinner there, then I head home.
The drive home is not bad. And even though it’s about 9 PM, I’m nowhere near as tired as my parents were sure I would be. I’m rocking out to Lady Gaga and I feel great.
When I get home, I make sure to have some Kimball Farms ice cream (chocolate chocolate truffle flavor) to complete today’s task. Then, I’m really tired and I need to sleep.

--

I miss Jamba Juice so bad. I haven't had one in about three years.
I found a good substitute but it's not the saaaaame.

you know, my death row meal should have had more actual food in it. I have such a sweet tooth though.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day 27: Yes/No


Day 27
Today, I’m not supposed to use the words ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
I may have already broken this. I’m going to let that slide because I hadn’t read that yet.
I continually break this throughout the day. I keep forgetting it!
I spend some time with my awesome friend Lainie. It’s her prom tonight, and I’m helping her get ready.
I get into an argument with her boyfriend over Danny Phantom. I used to be completely obsessed with that show, but I’ve barely talked about it in years. Felt good to debate about it again.
I’m pretty sure I said “no” a bunch of times though.
Now I’m just watching some TV and killing time before I need to leave for Mike’s house. I’m excited about this long drive.
The drive is longer than I expected, but I’m able to stop halfway through to get a bit of sugary candy and use a bathroom.
I get to Mike’s house, and he’s not there. The house is dark and no one answers the door.
I’m looking like a creeper, standing out there in the dark with my arms loaded with bags. But I text Mike and he calls his house so that someone lets me in.
Mike gets there, and then we go out for a drive.
He takes me to a dark abandoned parking lot, and we try to have some fun in his car.
I forget about today’s task and say “yes”. A lot.
Then the bad luck comes. We’re interrupted by a policeman shining a flashlight into the car.
I’m so embarrassed, but at the same time, I can’t help but laugh. It’s so clich├ęd and awkward that it’s just funny.
We return to his house, and the rest of the evening is pretty uneventful.


--

we have not done anything in Mike's car since.
that was really awkward.
plus it was really cramped anyways.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 26: Today choose what you'd prefer to be reincarnated as


Day 26
I’m supposed to decide what I’d like to be reincarnated as.
I think I want to be a human. Or a dolphin.
But what little I know about reincarnation, I’m pretty sure this isn’t something I get to decide.
My day is pretty boring.
I go to Savers to search for a coat for Mike. He plans to go to the Renaissance Faire as Doctor Who (the 10th doctor, specifically). I regret ever suggesting that he would be a time traveler if he wasn’t in costume.
But hey, the costume will probably be a good thing. I plan to drag him to scifi conventions because those are fun (and he’d probably enjoy that more than a Renaissance Faire) and the costume will get more use.
I find the almost perfect coat. Right color, right size, but it’s a women’s coat. Mike says it’s okay, so I get it.
After coming home, I learn some exciting things about this weekend. It’s the Apple Blossom festival and the senior prom. I’ll be missing both for Mike.
I’m a little disappointed, but I really do want to go to this Renaissance Faire with Mike. So I’m not going to give that up to hang out with my friends—I have all summer for them.


--

His costume ended up looking so good.
I'm going to try to find a picture to share, but hey, this was a year ago. I lose pictures.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Day 25
Today, I have to check off things on a list to recognize that I will never do them.
Before I do this, I go to a job interview at CVS. This goes so much better than the Burger King interview—I may actually have a shot here!
Then I come home, I go through this list.
Here is what I will never do (and why):
Climb Everest (I could barely make it up the hill to my dorm, there’s no way I could do this.)
Learn Italian (I speak French along with English. Two languages is enough for me.)
Become world chess champion (I fail at chess.)
Rob a bank (that would be a bad thing to do.)
Become a king (not royalty, also a girl. Not that being a girl has always mattered in history, but the not royalty thing is important.)
Walk to the North Pole (can’t walk that far.)
Learn Russian (again, two languages are fine.)
Start a revolution (too apathetic.)
Follow this Book rigorously (too late. And I’m sure there’s other things I won’t do.)
Call my mother/father “Ma/Pa” (just. No.)
Work in a coal mine (I just don’t think I ever will.)
Move to Japan (seems like a cool place to visit, but I like living in the US.)
Visit space (space tourism is not likely to happen before I die.)
Inject heroin (drugs bad.)
Be gay (tried that! No way.)
Grow a beard (were I meant to be a bearded lady, I would need to shave now.)
Master the yo-yo (I can’t do this. I fail at this.)
Become a fitness instructor (that’d require me to enjoy fitness.)
Live for a year on a desert island (actually, this one is possible, but it wouldn’t be my choice.)
Confess to a priest (don’t I need to be religious?)
Graffiti a highway bridge (I’d be a little concerned with the cars and the falling to my death.)
Invade a small country (war is bad.)
Demand a random (I wouldn’t kidnap anyone.)
Say NO when you mean YES (no means no. if you ever let it mean yes, you’re gonna be raped.)
Seduce the prom queen (didn’t go to my prom.)
Paint someone in tar and feathers (that’d be cruel.)
Light a fart (ew.)
Shave off your pubic hair (this is even more ew.)
Smoke a cat (what is this even?)
Win the Nobel Peace Prize (that’d mean I’d have to be peaceful.)
Make love in front of a stranger (that’d be too weird.)
Volunteer for a dangerous mission (I’d be too scared.)
Overdose (no.)
Give birth to a goatboy (well, if I do, I’d probably be in an insane asylum.)
Organize an orgy (I like having just my boyfriend, thanks.)
Marry someone you’ve just/never met (I wouldn’t marry a stranger.)
Discover the lost city of Atlantis (probably not.)
See your face on a banknote (wouldn’t I have to be involved in politics?)
Be eaten by cannibals (no, this one could totally happen, but I’d be eaten after I die.)
Turn 117 years old (I doubt it.)
Update the Kama Sutra (not creative enough for that, really.)
Marry a prince or princess (I just highly doubt this.)
Become pope (not male. Also not Catholic.)
Inherit the crown jewels (I’m sensing a royalty theme here.)
Grow a tail (impossible.)
Take a vow of chastity (too late.)
Fake a multiple orgasm (that’d be stupid. If you fake it, then how’s your guy supposed to figure out how to make it happen?)
Greet the extraterrestrial delegation (only if the ship lands in my backyard.)
Eradicate hepatitis C (I’m not sure which one this is, even.)
Kiss your own lips (to be fair, I tried to do this.)
Shoot the pianist (I don’t even get this.)
Beat Bjorn Bjorg at tennis (I don’t know who this is, also I fail even at Wii Tennis.)
Be the 78th person on the moon (not planning a moon trip.)
Win best-looking baby of the year (not a baby.)
Smoke a Cuban cigar (smoking is bad, I don’t care how fancy the cigar might be.)
Suck on 12 lollipops at once (my mouth is not this big.)
Become immortal (can’t. wish I could.)
Play the lead in Swan Lake (can’t dance. I used to dance a few years ago, then just stopped.)
Catch that bird that pooped on you (the only bird that pooped on me did it some years ago. It’s probably dead now.)
Travel at warp speed (impossible.)
Stab someone in the back (I don’t like violence that much.)
Run an arms dealership (really, nonviolent here.)
Exterminate a zombie (zombies aren’t real.)
Become a superhero (neither are superheroes.)
Floss twice a day (I barely remember to brush my teeth once a day.)
Get drunk on meths (what’s meths, anyways?)
Sacrifice a goat (the poor goat!)
Sleep with a whore of Babylon (wouldn’t that be a female whore? I’m straight.)
Reach Nirvana (too impatient.)
Sup with Satan (again, this’d be something I do after I die.)
Track down Lord Lucan (who?)
Cause an intergalactic riff (only if I do something horrible to those aliens who will never land in my backyard.)
Get away with murder (I couldn’t get away with it, I think.)
Travel back in time (I really do wish I could. But I can’t.)
Face a firing squad (that would be terrifying.)
Have the Midas touch (literally? This is impossible.)
Come out of a black hole alive (can’t.)
Suck your little toe in public (why would I do this?)
Surpass Einstein (I’d have to like math. I don’t like math.)
Look like Einstein (kind of a girl here. I can’t get a mustache.)
Participate in the Olympics (not unless they consider casually watching ‘participating’. I don’t think they do.)
Catch a shark (I don’t think so.)
Commit arson (fire scares me.)
Spot the Invisible Man (he doesn’t exist and how would I do that anyways?)
Regain your virginity (that’s not even possible, is it?)
Change astrological signs (but I’m such a Pisces!)
Bring back Bambi (but wasn’t it Bambi’s mom who died?)
Channel lava away from a village (I’d be more likely to run away.)
Grow a third nipple (ew and impossible.)
Witness the Big Bang (impossible.)
Fiddle while Rome burns (this one is solely because I don’t know how to play the fiddle.)
That’s it.
I’d add the what I could possibly do before dying, but that’s an even longer list. It took my a long time to finish this.
Since that took so much space, I won’t bore you with the rest of the details of my day. It’s been an average day.


--

Okay, today has been insane which is why this post is a little late.
Last summer, my job woes ended soon and ended happily. This summer, I have new job woes and just really need money.
Anyone out there know a good way to make money online?

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Day 24
Today, I’m supposed to practice bartering.
I start the day way too early. 6:30.
I’ve got an 8 am final.
I take the final, it’s easy. I get back to my dorm within the hour.
My dad’s here, and he helps me pack up the dorm. I’m pretty much asleep on my feet.
I get home, and I do sort of barter. I exchange one computer for another.
So instead of my old computer, I finally get my shiny new computer back! It’s got a newer version of Windows on it, though I’m probably going to install Linux soon at Mike’s urging.
I never specifically say this is a barter or a trade, but it kind of is.
I go to my job interview at Burger King. It amounts to basically I’m told they don’t do seasonal hiring but they’re going to look at my application again and see if they can make an exception. I don’t have hope.
That was a huge waste of my time. I could’ve taken a nap to make up for the late start to today.
Oh well. Now I’m just sitting at the TV checking up on all that I’ve missed.
I tell my mom about the bartering thing today, and she decides to barter with me.
It’s not an exchange of goods as the book suggests. I’m preparing a room so she can paint the ceiling, and she’s giving me $30 for the Renaissance Faire this weekend.
My day does not significantly improve after completing the task. But it isn’t horrible either.

--
Ironically, that Burger King closed a few months ago. I'm glad I didn't get the job there, because I wouldn't have it now!
I totally forgot about the Ren Faire. I wanted to go back to that this year, but I guess it's too late now.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Day 23: Plastic Fantastic


Day 23
Today, I’m supposed to make an appointment with a plastic surgeon to see what they’d recommend.
I can’t do this. I can’t afford it, insurance won’t cover it, and of course my parents wouldn’t pay. So I’ve got to find some creative way to deal with this task.
I Google “virtual plastic surgeon”.
The first result, I’d have to pay $5 to upload my own photo. So I play around with one of the free sample models.
It’s nothing more than a little morphing tool.
So I check out more of the Google results.
It’s interesting.
I don’t like the virtual new me. Doing this actually made me realize for the first time that I am pretty.
However, then later my life begins to suck.
Or maybe nothing’s really wrong and I’m just randomly pissed off.
It’s hot out, and the stupid building has the heat on. Seriously, it’s gotta be about 75 degrees in here.
I’m working on cleaning up my room to move out tomorrow, and I see everyone else doing the same. But they’ve all got friends and family to help, I have no one.
My dad was supposed to come out today but he decided not to so that he could save gas money.
Screw that.
I want to scream and cry and hurt something. I do not like being in this mood but I am a total bitch right now.
I calm down, but then the song Smile comes on my iPod.
This is our song. Mine and Mike’s.
And it just reminds me that hey, I’m going to be away from him for months. And I start crying.
Why can’t he move out to Westford for the summer too?
My day is really boring. I get another job interview, and that’s good, so I suppose the virtual plastic surgery was close enough to what the book wanted.
When I go to dinner, a guy I don’t know talks to me about the book I’m reading. Tell-All, Chuck Palahniuk’s new novel. It’s pretty good, but I don’t think it’s one of his best.
I never do complete yesterday’s task. I feel like I’m slipping.


--

It's interesting to see the exact point that I stopped following the book so exactly.
in other news, a mosquito is loose in my house and I itch like insane.

Friday, May 13, 2011


Day 22
Today, I have to agree to meet someone I barely know in 10 years.
I’m going to hang out with Mike today, that’ll be awesome.
We spend most of the day making cupcakes. I want to make some awesome chocolate butterflies for the top, but I just can’t do it. It’s impossible and a failure.
I start crying, and Mike is so sweet in comforting me. He helps me do something else cool with the chocolates, and it turns out great. The cupcakes look awesome and gourmet.
We hang out for the rest of the night, mostly just staying together and cuddling. I’m so happy with him.
But when he leaves, I start crying again.
I won’t see him until after the school year ends. We won’t get the nice privacy of my room again. I’ll miss him so much. He’s my amazing boyfriend, I love him, and I’m going to miss him.
Oh wow, I’m crying again as I type this.
Anyways, I never did end up agreeing to meet with someone. The book didn’t give me bad luck, though—I suppose it guessed I intended to do that and just never did. I’ll definitely find someone tomorrow.

--

Sucky thing about leaving school is leaving Mike for a few months.
it's hard.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Day 21: Patriotism Day


Day 21
Today, I am supposed to be patriotic.
So I do things all-American.
I skip breakfast, as many American people do when they’re on crazy diets to achieve the ideal body.
I help my parents load the boxes from my room into the Jeep—an American car, of course. And packing up at the end of the school year seems a typical American college activity.
I eat chicken fingers and fries for lunch, skipping those foreign foods like pizza and burritos.
While shopping at Target, I hum the national anthem. Honestly, I don’t even realize I’m doing this at first, I am just that American.
I go to hang out with Mike. I’m sad because I’m soon not going to see him as often, so I bring him a gift to remember me by. It’s a stuffed animal—the Linux penguin. Mike is pretty much obsessed with Linux, constantly telling me how it’s so much better than Windows. (I’m pretty sure he would want me to tell all you who are reading this to follow his example and install Ubuntu on your computer. Right now.)
Mike says he’s hungry, and he’ll make some food. He’s going to make hamburgers, cooked over a fire.
What’s more American than that?
It takes him about two hours to build the fire. It’s a windy day, and the wood just won’t catch. He actually pours lighter fluid over the already-burning fire to make it bigger (while his sister stands by with a garden hose just in case). It makes a nice fireball, but then doesn’t help much.
Finally, he makes the burgers. They are delicious.
While the fire’s still going, I roast a couple of delicious marshmallows. Another wonderful American food. (I think.)
Mike and his sister and I watch a few episodes of Doctor Who. Okay, this isn’t American, I know. But it is such a good show.
I’m feeling like maybe I’m not doing enough, but there’s no bad luck yet.
In fact, I get a text from my parents with good news! I have a job interview. Okay, so it’s for Burger King, but it is an interview!
Then, Mike takes me back to my dorm. We listen to Party in the USA while driving, an appropriately patriotic song. Mike knows all the words, and seems embarrassed to admit this. (And I probably just embarrassed him again. Sorry, Mike!)
We watch some Buffy, a good American show, then we do what every American person is obsessed with.
Sex, if you didn’t get it.
(a note to my parents who I know are reading this: I’ve probably told you by now that I slept with Mike or you figured it out, but if not, don’t worry, we used protection, we're being really safe.)
And then we watch the movie that most accurately chronicles teenage girls in American high schools. Mean Girls.
I’m saying most of the lines along with the movie. Mike doesn’t know the movie as well as I do, but he surprises me when he exclaims, “She doesn’t even go here!” at the right moment.
Then Mike leaves. I get into my pajamas, which happen to be red, white, and blue.
Today I was proud to be an American.
Now I can go back to being cynical about my country.

--
I don't like being patriotic. I can be proud of my country without maniac loving it.
I even hate the 4th of July. I don't like crowds, barbecue, or fireworks.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Day 20: Poetry Day


Day 20
Today starts out great.
I wake up to Mike’s kisses.
He takes me out to breakfast—bagels and then drinks at Starbucks. Tastes so good.
But then when we return to the dorm, I start feeling sick. Stomachache and my throat is so sore.
Mike’s ready to leave anyways, so we say our goodbyes.
Now, I’m just sitting here waiting for my parents to show up. They’re going to help me pack up my room—I’m going home soon!
Today’s task, I almost forgot it. I’m supposed to write a line of a poem.
Iambic pentameter? Not a problem. Let’s see.
“I love Mike and I know that he loves me.”
Ten syllables, unstress-stress pattern. That’s iambic pentameter, right? I’m not a poetry person.
And I’m supposed to put this line of poetry on thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com.
I can’t figure out how to do so.
So, thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com, it’s your fault if I have bad luck today. Not mine.
My parents come, and we pack up my room. Most of it, anyways. We run out of boxes, and there’s some things I need for the last few days anyways.
We go to Olive Garden for dinner. I love Olive Garden, mostly the breadsticks. The food is so good but I cannot finish it.
I want to cry coming back to my dorm tonight though. My life for almost a full year is packed into boxes, and almost completely gone.


--

The bane of being an English major: I have to face poetry a lot.
I admit, some people can write really great poems and really have talent for it. However, when you tell a class of 30 to write a poem, 28 of them will write pretty words with random line breaks, do it in 5 minutes, and people won't know the difference between that and a good poem.
So, I hate poetry. I'll readily admit to not being any good at it, and when I do have to write a poem, I'll do something shocking and actually try!

This'll make this post way longer than it needs to be, but I do feel like sharing things I've written.
A poem that I spent 2 minutes on, and a poem I spent a few hours on. Both were equally lauded by my classmates. Let's see what the random people of the internet think.


Abandoned

You told
me to go
and you’ll
meet me there.
You
didn't.
Bright happy
people, and
harsh lights,
and we should
be in there. But
you
left me.
Stranded.


 The Council of the Animals

 
The Council of the Animals
met only once a year.
One of every species
came from far and near.

The Dogs and Wolves gathered.
Great Cats remained alone.
The Birds perched in the trees.
The Lion took his throne.

“Let every creature speak!”
the loudest Monkey called.
“The Greater Beasts begin
then Lesser, tall to small.”

The Eagles had no space for nests.
The Cheetah had lost their prey.
In this way, every Animal spoke
until the Unicorn had his say.

“We have befriended Man!” he said.
Each Animal began to shriek.
“For our protection, we give them horns
to save their ill and their weak.”

“Man is our enemy!” shouted the Wolf
“He kills without a care!”
The Unicorn said, “Give Man a chance!
There is nothing to beware!”

Each Animal grew louder
shouting protests more and more
until finally they were silenced
by the Lion’s mighty roar.

“The Unicorn is a traitor!”
he shouted, his fangs bared.
“You put all of us in danger!
Why are you not scared?

 “Your pride will be your downfall!”
continued the Lion’s cry.
“Man can only think of himself!
All the Animals will die!”

The Animals began to gather
all around the Unicorn.
Realizing what would happen
the creature lowered his horn.

The Lion did not stop the fray.
He let the Animals attack.
He heard the snarls and the screams
And yet he turned his back.

The grass was black when it was done.
The Lion turned and gave a sigh
and towards the fallen Unicorn
strayed not a single eye.

“The sacrifice of a species
is such a terrible thing.
But it is best for Animalkind,”
proclaimed the creatures’ King.

The Council now was ending
with the setting of the sun.
Silver blood stained Animals’ paws
reminding them what was done.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Day 19: Pretend to be a secret agent


Day 19
Today’s task is easy. Wait outside at 1:00 and wave at the gray car.
I’m outside at 1:00, but no gray car.
Instead, Mike picks me up. We’re going to the mall so I can buy a Mother’s Day present for my mom.
I get her a candle. It’s pretty much what I get her every year. This one is specifically for our family room that I’m helping redecorate.
Mike and I have fun hanging out at the mall. We hit a bunch of stores and it’s fun. I love the pet store, there’s some really cute and playful puppies there.
We go back to his house and watch some Doctor Who. I’ve never seen the show, but it’s pretty good.
We then head out for a double date with Ariel and her boyfriend. It’s fun. We go to dinner at some restaurant I’ve never heard of. (My sandwich sucks, but they have great fries.)
Then we go minigolfing. That’s fun, even though all of us end up cheating and we stop keeping score.
Ariel brings out dirty truth or dare on her phone. It’s fun. I don’t learn anything knew about Mike, but I do learn some things about Ariel I could have easily lived without knowing.
Then, Mike and I head back to the dorm. He’s staying the night tonight.
I have some trouble falling asleep. The bed’s small, and I’m not used to another person being in it. But eventually, I do sleep comfortably.


--

Never try to sleep with another person in a twin bed. especially if that other person snores.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Day 18: Kill Something Day


Day 18
Last night, I only slept about 5 hours. So worried about this final.
Then the final was totally okay. I finished it with an hour to spare.
I don’t think I got an A, but I’ve probably got a solid B there.
On the way back to my dorm, I fulfill today’s task. Kill something.
I step on a particularly large ant, and grind my foot on it, making sure it’s completely dead.
I picture how that ant must feel. Walking along, finding food, and then suddenly a large shadow covers it and it’s smashed against the ground. It might not be dead yet, but whatever smashed it turns, ripping its body apart and tearing its legs and antenna away.
I feel sadistic. I want to laugh evilly. Some sort of mua-ha-ha thing.
But then I call my dad with a simple question about a job application, and it leads to a whole argument over how I fail at life and can’t find a job, and obviously this is because I’m not trying hard enough.
I want to die.
Stupid 5 hours of sleep throwing me off. I hope tonight I sleep like a baby and I’ll be good tomorrow.
I go to make some cupcakes to cheer me up. It does, until I try to give them away and no one wants any.
I’ve spent three hours on these cupcakes, and no one wants to even try one. This makes me feel like crap, and really pissed off at these people. Don’t they know how to take a gift?
I manage to give some away, and I’m happy again. Until I return to my room and find I can’t open the door.
I wish I could say I have some fabulous adventure waiting for maintenance to show up, but I can’t. I’m so bored.
But finally I get in the room, and Mike tells me about a nearby Renaissance Faire that’s going on. We’re going in just over a week, and I cannot wait. I love Ren Faires.


--

I don't remember that final, but I do remember getting stuck out of my room.
Something had gone wrong with the door. I had my key and just couldn't get in.
it really sucked.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Day 17
Asparagus today.
I can’t eat anything but asparagus.
I’ll buy some asparagus and try it, sure, but I think this day is going to be less about stuffing myself with asparagus and more about not eating.
One day. I can handle it. It’s already almost 2 PM and I’m not hungry.
I’m surviving today by drinking a lot of juices. I get sugars and my daily helpings of most vitamins. Plus, this way I can’t get dehydrated.
Maybe this didn’t fall on the best day as I have a final tomorrow morning. We’ll see how that goes, I guess.
I go to the store, buy asparagus and things I need for the rest of the week, and when I come back, I’m starving.
No, really. I can’t describe how hungry I am right now. I’m lightheaded and dizzy, and I can’t stop crying. Why am I putting myself through this?
I’d break down and eat something if I wasn’t more afraid of bad luck.
I feel like I’m going to throw up. Is that even possible when I’m so hungry?
Good thing about this is I know now I can never ever be anorexic.
I get online, and I want to talk to Mike, but he leaves.
I want to tell him that I’m so hungry and I want him to tell me that I need to eat and that the bad luck won’t be so bad, but I only get to say hi and bye.
I should probably text him, but I just can’t.
I feel completely ashamed of myself for sticking to this stupid book’s instructions. I don’t want to tell anyone what I’m doing, but I want someone to know and to tell me to eat something.
I don’t think I’m going to survive today.
I keep picking up the phone to text Mike, then putting it down because I’m ashamed.
I need food!
I finish the paper I have due tomorrow.
It probably sucks, considering that I didn’t understand any of the books it’s on, and I wrote it while so hungry.
But that’s not important, what’s important is that it’s seven pages!
Besides, one final paper won’t affect my grade too much—at least, it’s not the difference between passing and failing here. I’ve got a solid A- in this class, if I bomb this I’m not failing.
The relief of this being done helps with my headache a little bit—and hey! It’s almost time for dinner, which is asparagus yeah, but it’s food.
I guess this is a good way for me to like asparagus. I’m so desperate for food right now.
I print out that whole paper and then realize I forgot the page numbers. Argh.
I text Mike, telling him I haven’t eaten and I’m dizzy. I shouldn’t be putting myself through this, I know, but for some reason I am.
I feel like a horrible person. I don’t know why. I want to pass out.
I’m so weak, and I hate myself. I should be able to live off my fat for a day, I’ve certainly got enough of it.
Or, completely other side, I know starving myself like this is bad. I’m weak because I’m too scared of bad luck to eat. Really, it’s bad luck either way here. There could be a wasp in my room, or I could pass out from hunger.
I’ve got a final tomorrow morning. Shouldn’t I be having a good meal tonight and a good night’s rest?
I break down and text Mike.
I go prepare the small bit of asparagus I have. I need to eat something.
A package of microwave asparagus, with butter and salt to flavor it.
It’s actually pretty good. Or maybe I’m just that hungry. Probably the latter.
I’m going to eat some other food later. I’ve fulfilled the spirit of today’s requirement—eating a quarter pound of asparagus is going to make my urine pretty foul. And since the book said to eat nothing but asparagus to see how noxious my pee can get, I’m doing that.
Plus, it only said all day long. Nightfall, I’m having a feast of real food.
Once the initial hunger pangs are gone, I realize that asparagus is really really awful.
I could probably handle it as a side dish in the future, but I am never eating this much at once again.
I have never appreciated food so much. I feel sorry for people who have to starve, who aren’t doing it for some silly reason like a book tells them to.
This actually makes me want to eat more. I should really appreciate what I can by eating it.
But now I think I’m going to throw up. Too much asparagus.
Mike texts back, telling me to eat something else. (He already knew about the asparagus thing.) So with validation from him, I will. As soon as my stomach settles. This is really gross.
A wasp gets in my room.
Wtf book? I haven’t even eaten anything else yet! Why do I get the bad luck now?
So I eat some donuts. I feel good and oh hey, no more wasps.
The rest of the night, I really appreciate food. Food is good.
Asparagus is nasty. I go to the bathroom and oh wow that’s foul.
My parents call, and tell me I got a letter saying I did not get the job I wanted for the summer.
That’s my bad luck? Really?
I start crying. Seriously, my desire to survive today shouldn’t have meant that I lost the one last hope of getting a summer job.
Maybe this is one big coincidence. But it’s still bad.

--

I don't do well with not eating.
Actually now, I'm a lot better with it. I still don't like going hungry but I won't have a panic attack each time.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Day 16
Today, I’m supposed to discreetly flip people off.
This is fun.
I spend the day scratching my head with my middle finger, extending that finger as I carry my bag, and no one seems to notice. Discreet win.
Today is my last day of classes. I have a conference with my writing teacher to start the day.
She says I have a talent for creative writing, and I should definitely be taking a creative writing class next year.
There are few moments in my life when my dream of being a writer feels completely validated. This is one of those moments.
I could really be an author someday.
I go to the House class, and lament with Ariel about how we’re going to miss this class. How fun is it to watch TV in class and make up ridiculous nicknames for everyone there? I will so miss that.
Later, I have my very last class of the semester—the wonderfully awful computer literacy class.
The power goes out in the middle of class. It’s warm and dark in the room, and I really want to sleep.
Luckily, the class lets out early.
I return to my room, and don’t leave the rest of the night.
Glee is on tonight, so that’ll be a good thing.


--

Huh.
I'm reading all these other blogs I follow, they're all inspirational, and I'm writing about flipping people off.
Okay then.

Friday, May 6, 2011


Day 15
I’m a lesbian today.
This is hard. I can’t ignore Mike, I have a date planned with him.
I think. Those plans are a little fuzzy.
I wear a dress today. Apparently my inner lesbian is girly, or it’s ‘cause it’s just so hot today.
I talk to a girl on the bus. She’s in my writing class, so we talk about that. I’m not sure if I’m flirting or just talking, but I think if I call it flirting I’m technically good for today.
But I want to go back to being straight now. For Mike.
When I do see Mike, it’s so hard not to kiss him. I want to be close to him, but the closest I can get is a hug.
The museum we planned to go to is closed, so we go to a nearby market instead. He gets a sandwich, I get a cupcake. It’s not a good cupcake, and I’m sad about that.
When we get back on the bus, I manage to convince someone I’m a lesbian. I’m talking to Mike, who suggests I flirt with a nearby girl, and I tell him, “Just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I’m not me. I’m still too shy to flirt.”
The guy sitting in front of us gives me a strange look, so yay, I convinced him!
I have dinner at Mike’s house, and then he takes me to a nearby ice cream stand. He’s been talking up this place for weeks, and then it’s just plain old soft-serve. I’m disappointed.
We watch House together, then return to the dorm.
What happens next, probably shouldn’t have happened, considering I’m not supposed to be attracted to guys today.
But I love Mike. I can’t say no to him.


--

Today didn't really teach me how hard it is to be discriminated against, which I'm guessing was the point.
It did teach me how hard it is to hide your sexuality, which is what a lot of people in the closet are struggling with. I can't imagine how afraid of coming out they have to be to be able to go through that. It sucks.
I remember the museum we were going to visit. We didn't end up going till about a year later, and then it wasn't that great.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Day 14: A Day of Compliments


Day 14
Today, I’m supposed to give compliments all the time.
I’m hanging out with Mike today. I give him plenty of compliments, because he is my boyfriend and I love him.
We go to a Renaissance Festival, and leave after five minutes. It sucks.
It’s just renaissance performances, and not even good ones, and some food they won’t let us buy during the performances.
We head to Panera afterwards to get actual food.
We walk around for a while, and it’s hot and humid and miserable.
Finally, we head back to the dorm. It’s still hot and humid, but less miserable.
I stop with the compliments. But I do comment to a girl in the bathroom that she has a nice dress. I guess that’s in the spirit of the day.


--

I don't see anything wrong with constantly complimenting people, but I won't force myself to do it again. it was weird.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Day 13: Send a Letter to a Mass Murderer


Day 13
Today, I’m supposed to send a letter to a mass murderer.
I won’t do this one. I can’t.
I’m a young college girl. I’m the ideal target for any murderer. Why would I give my name and address to someone who I know would kill me?
I get that the book wants me to do risky and crazy things, but this is not a good idea.
I’ll accept my bad luck for today. I just cannot do this.
A wasp gets into my room.
I’m terrified of wasps. I 100% believe they only exist to kill me.
Is this my bad luck for not doing what the book said?
I just don’t want to die here. Whether it’s from a wasp or a crazy mass murderer.
Can today just end already? It’s just barely noon and that’s the start of my bad luck. What’s next? I get run over by a car?
My bad luck continues when my computer won’t recognize 2 DVDs I want to watch.
I send a ‘psychic’ letter to Charles Manson, basically recognizing that he’s done something that caused a lasting impact on our culture, but I don’t like him for it.
My luck actually somewhat improves after that.


--

Oh God I remember that wasp.
It was one of the three-inch long kinds, and was RIGHT ON MY WALL NEXT TO MY BED.
I seriously have spheksophobia, and apiphobia. True, they've never been diagnosed as phobias, but the definition is that it interferes with my everyday life, right?
So when I'm terrified to even leave my room on sunny days and break down crying when one gets in my room, I'm pretty sure that qualifies as an actual phobia.
I've always been this scared. I've always screamed, had panic attacks, had meltdowns around wasps and bees. It's not fun, but I can't make it go away.