Day 57: Today, try food that scares you

Day 57

Today, I’m supposed to try food that scares me.

I try a fish filet at McDonald’s. Fast food fish always kind of freaks me out. But it’s not bad, and it doesn’t kill me.

Apparently it didn’t scare me enough, because the rest of my day sucks.

I feel pushed around by managers and coworkers, and customers are bitches today. I almost completely break when one guy snidely demands for me to get a drink for him right now, but then he actually comes back later to apologize.

I’m sort of on the edge of a panic attack through the whole day, but I manage to keep it together until I leave. I drive home, singing along to the Glee soundtrack (volume 3) in the car, and I stop for gas.

A wasp flies by me and I freak out, and then I just start crying.

I feel completely worthless. I’m nothing. I’m just a person, no one special.

To all those of you who don’t pity me, who think oh she’s just crying because she’s not a special snowflake, think about this. Every single one of us has something special. You all know, somewhere deep inside, that you have or will someday make a difference and be important.

Now imagine knowing the complete opposite. Think that you will never be important, that you will pass through life without anyone caring you were here. Now you know how I feel.

Thankfully, this feeling does pass. But even though I am someone, I’m someone with a sucky life. Seriously, I work full time at McDonald’s for minimum wage and I barely get to see my friends or my boyfriend. My life sucks.

I feel better as the day goes on, but still. That was a sucky time.

I’m so tired now, but I’m enjoying just sitting here watching TV. I’m so torn right now.

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anyone know what causes itching in hands and feet?

seriously, it's been going on a week at this point, and it bothers me.