Day 5
Today, I need to put an Out of Order sign on something that’s working.
While I’m going to class, I scout out places I could put it. I choose the bathroom at the dining commons—it’s notoriously gross and under-maintenanced. I think it’ll be interesting to see how long it stays there.
The book says to cut the sign in there, but I just can’t. I have this thing about cutting up books.
I try twice to scan the sign, but apparently my scanner hates me. Rather than waste ink on a third try, I grab a scrap paper and a Sharpie and make my own sign.
I head down to the dining commons, and when I enter the bathroom, someone’s in there. This is insane, no one ever uses this bathroom. It’s gross.
She’s standing at the mirror, preening over herself. I use the toilet and wait for her to leave. But she’s taking so long trying to be pretty that I give up and leave.
There’s another bathroom in the dining commons. More commonly used, but still gross.
So I head there. There’s a girl at the sink, so I stand at the mirror and pretend to look through my bag for makeup or something. She leaves, but another girl enters. I duck into a stall and pretend to use the toilet till she’s gone.
I quickly pull the sign out of my bag and stick it on a stall door, then dash out of there. I feel guilty, even though really, I did nothing wrong.
I head down to the bus stop, firing off a quick text to Mike about why I’m going to be late. I’m going to meet him at the mall—we’re going skating with his youth group.
I’m excited. I want to learn to skate.
I actually beat him to the mall, and I hang around for a while waiting for him to show up. He finally does, with 5 kids in tow.
I rent some skates, put them on, stand up, and panic.
Now here’s something you should know: I get panic attacks easily when I get scared. They’ve been happening less frequently lately, but one came today.
I sit down, and Mike sits beside me, telling me that it’s okay, I don’t have to skate. I think he feels guilty for bringing me to this, and I don’t want him to feel bad because I’m freaking out. I tell him I’ll be fine, I’ll just sit at the side and he can go skate.
He does. He comes back to visit me often, which I appreciate. He lends me his phone so I can play a game on it. He has a really awesome version of Snake.
I’m thinking after this, I’ll go back to my dorm and get dinner at the dining commons, see if the sign is still there. But instead, he announces we’re all going for pizza.
Pizza is delicious. I’m having fun hanging out with Mike, even hanging out with the youth group.
Too bad I can’t bring Mike back to my dorm tonight. We figured out we can’t see each other for a week, and I really wish I could spend more time with him.
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Skating is still terrifying. I like having balance, not clinging onto something for in fear because there are wheels on my feet.
I'll never actually learn to skate. I still remember being at a skating party when I was 8, happily pulling my way along the wall of the rink, and then suddenly, all beginners were to leave the rink and I was still slowly moving along the perimeter. One of the employees came out to get me.
I now know the names of those in the youth group. I already knew Mike's sisters at this point actually. but the other ones were total strangers (even though I saw them just before playing games with the Alzheimer's patients. I can't remember names at all).
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